He kissed a someone with a penis
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
