She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she told me i tasted like america
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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