I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize