bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize