There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize