what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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