hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
