when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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