i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
