Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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