You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
