You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
