The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
