Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
