Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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