Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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