Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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