Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
