I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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