Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
