I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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