ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
