Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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