in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
