the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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