We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
