when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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