I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
