We named our party play list daddy issues
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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