I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
