I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize