I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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