he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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