I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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