do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
