Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
