Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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