Can Purell be used as lube?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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