I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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