Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
