Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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