textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
