i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
