How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
