Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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