No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
