Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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