In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
