This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
