My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
