Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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