I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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