I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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