no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
