if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
