Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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