five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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