btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
