he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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