I wanna bring you to show and tell
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize