Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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