My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
