He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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