normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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