I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
