would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
