I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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