We named our party play list daddy issues
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
